Tags
anger, blocked, closure, courage, emotion, feel, life, numb, redundant, resentment, revenge, sanity, spite, wolf
I can’t write…I want to write…but I can’t. Maybe because I can’t feel…and I want to feel but I can’t. I’m not sure the words have been created or defined for what it ‘is’…the depth…of this all…this ‘life’ of mine…it’s redundant…never ending.
Not having closure is unfair. I have made up so many ‘closures’…in my head and in real life and it’s not very nice. It’s gotten brutal…but I didn’t start brutal. Messing with my emotions is a lot like masterbation, you may think it’s a good idea at first but in the end all you did was just screw yourself.
I’ve enjoyed the several young lovers. They fucked the Dr. Jekyll right out of me. That is a bonus in itself…
All the working out (at the gym and Crossfit) helps with my anger as well…yes,…I’m angry…I can’t just make that ‘go away’… but I have a damn nice body. Hence the young lovers…
I have goals…big ones…small ones…impossible ones…I like them all…some I will achieve some I won’t…and some I will come damn close…or die trying…thing is…I’m cool with that…
Unanswered questions haunt me… I hate that part because it is so fucking undeserving…
Vengeance is mine as they say…
but you know what?
I learned from the best….
Yes I did.
~Stella
So…fuck you Dr. Jekyll…
You really have no idea…
…but you have gotten a taste of your own medicine now haven’t you eh?
As well as your entire ‘pack’ by now…
Doesn’t ‘feel too good to be on this side now does it?’
I’ve always been smarter than you.
Heh heh heh…