Tags
anger, asshole, Dr. Jekyll, enough, freaking, idiot, leaving, maid, moron, pissed off, resentment, slave, stupid fuck, temper, tit baby, unappreciated
Sigh…
I sit here in disbelief as well as belief. Does that even make sense? I’m trying to hang onto …myself. The me I used to be.
He left….again.
Big fight after work Friday morning. Rewind two weeks….Dr. Jekyll was feeling overwhelmed at the stuff that has to be done to the house to organize it or winterize it. Whichever. And he was verbally abusive and accusing and totally freaking out on me when I had committed no crimes. I handled it and understood he was frustrated and once he realized he didn’t need to act out and I was going to indeed help him clean the garage he was apologetic and said he was sorry. I spent the afternoon blowing off what I had to get done to do this garage thing.
My point here is he needed to vent. With that he lashed out.
Fast forward. The other day as I’ve felt for many many months I am overwhelmed. So I expressed it. But he didn’t and doesn’t handle it well. He was downright abusive. He had a fucking conniption fit! I told him that I was tired of always doing the cooking and the cleaning and how I set up and clean the house before his kids come and the mess they leave behind I clean up and while they are over I have been doing the cooking and dishes and seeing to it they brush their teeth. But it’s not just that.
If they are over or not I’m doing all the cleaning and the cooking. On occasion he throws a slab of meat on the grill while I do the fixins…and on occasion he cleans the kitchen. Or part of the kitchen. I have gotten no help with the floors..cleaning the bathroom…the dusting or the vacuuming or big grocery shopping. I’m tired of being the only one to who does the laundry..folds it and puts it away. Or makes the lunches before work. I cook cook cook…I’M SICK OF FUCKING COOKING ALL THE DAMN TIME! I’M TIRED OF THE FLOORS! Aaaaaand this is in between 12hr night shifts.
I love being a wife…but I’m also the maid. I’m tired of doing all of it on my own. Yes he does projects but he’s not outside EVERY DAMN DAY doing them! He goes daaaaays without doing anything so he gets to sleep in…have his coffee…get ready for work. I’ve been up…clean…cook …..AND try and make it to the gym for ‘myself’. I’m tired of it all. I just am! I could use a damn hand! On my damn day off how about I sit on the couch with the remote?! Instead of doing 7 fucking loads of laundry without any help! Not that long ago I put ‘some’ of his clothes on the dresser so ‘he’ could just put them away and don’t you know I got yelled at it for it! “YOUR CAN’T EVEN PUT MY LAUNDRY AWAY?!!!”
….Really? “YOU CAN’T PUT YOUR LAUNDRY AWAY? YOU CAN’T DO YOUR OWN LAUNDRY? YOU CAN’T PUSH THE FUCKING VACUUM? YOU CAN’T CLEAN YOUR PISS OFF THE TOILET? YOU CAN’T CLEAN THE TUB OR CLEAN THE BATHROOM FLOOR? YOU CAN’T DUST? YOU CAN’T RUN TO THE GROCERY STORE ON YOUR OWN AND GET A CRAP LOAD OF STUFF? YOU CAN’T COOK ONE FUCKING MEAL IN 10 DAYS? YOU CAN’T LOAD OR UNLOAD THE DISHWASHER MORE THAN TWICE A MONTH? …..REALLY?
I have taken up the dog crap detail…picking up sticks in the yard but nooooo I DON’T MOW THE LAWN! LMAO! AND GOSHDAMN I’M GONNA HEAR ABOUT IT!!
So I’m overwhelmed and I’m tired. I could use the offer of help. But I don’t get it. I express this… and he as usual can’t handle it and blows up and takes it all out of proportion. What fucking got me was how he was saying how HE takes care of the kids when they are over? BULL FUCKING SHIT! Again..I’m still the cook and the maid…I wouldn’t mind so much had he helped me out the rest of the FUCKING WEEK! …but he doesn’t.
Ok so I help him with the garage…ok? Got that? And dog shit…and whatever else is needed or he asks for…but I ASK FOR A KITCHEN FUCKING FAUCET TO BE FIXED FOR OVER THREE MONTHS NOW…AND DO YOU THINK IT’S FIXED? ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE GET THIS?
I work as he does…ok…12hr night shifts…same fucking job. Doing the exact same fucking thing he does. But at home…its less than fair. I’ve never been in a relationship or marriage where I HAD to be the only one doing shit by myself. Funny, other men have helped out. Would it have killed him to do the laundry once in awhile? Push a vacuum?
Ok ok… so I vented and I didn’t vent as I did above. I was quiet and reasonable and asking for some help. He flipped. He started the screaming and name calling and exaggerations and then telling me how I don’t do enough! How I’m not good enough. How HE is the main guy that takes care of his kids when they are over.
This isn’t about when the kids are over tho…I’m repeating myself…funny…just as I always do with him. It’s about the rest of the week.
It was after work…we were going to the car wash to wash the truck and the argument broke out. So it’s 630am. He flips out so bad hes SLAMMING the truck doors…hitting the windows…calling me names…screaming.
So I drove away and left his ass there! One entire town away. Went home popped and ambien and went to bed. He got a ride from a co-worker (because mommy wasn’t awake) got a ride home. Packed up whatever and left.
It was Friday. He got his kids and went to his parents but they are remodeling so basically told him they couldn’t stay cos their kitchen was in shambles. So he had to come home. Being he already packed and left me that morning… means…in essence….he left again.
I wasn’t about to stay home and play Mary Fuckin’ Poppins so I packed myself a bag and left for the weekend. I went back Sunday night and he of course had nothing to say as he never does nor would he ever think to apologize. Dr. Jekyll does not accept responsibility…rarely…and this time he should have! Nope.. he leaves. Packs up and just fucking leaves…again.
Anyway…Sunday night he lives on the living room couch and watches tv. Monday comes he’s up and does whatever…I go to the gym…while I’m gone he packs the rest of his stuff and is gone. Walks out aaaaagain.
He left the place TRASHED! The house is TRASHED…not one clean dish in the cupboard and the BOAT IS TRASHED! He just leaves it that way. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? SERIOUSLY? YOU IGNORANT SELF CENTERED LAZY PIECE OF SHIT!
His lively hood is the data plan on the cell. I cut it. I hate games! I do…but hey…you FORCE me to once again play maid and NOT clean up after yourself or your kids…I’m not going to accommodate you! Get your own damn cell phone. He can still call and text and I can cut that too.
Want your data plan back? CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF AND THEN LEAVE YOU LAZY FUCKING ASSHOLE!
Ok.. Calmer now. But are you kidding me? I am a great wife! A wonderful wife! I wife that enjoys being one and shows it.. I am an overwhelmed wife who only wanted to express it as he expressed his being overwhelmed. I want the faucet fixed. I need some help.
It’s this stupid? Trivial? Sure seems so. But this is how I live. Nothing can be as simple as just being able to express or vent. Not to a passive aggressive narcissistic personality. He can’t handle it. He has to cut me off at the knees and rip on me…and have a physical outRAGEous TEMPER TANTRUM.
What would have happened if he just validated how I was feeling?…”I understand your overwhelmed honey and I appreciate all you do, I will help with the laundry and I will get up early to fix the kids their breakfast. I will make and be responsible for the lunches a couple times a week. I will vacuum for you on Thursday and how about I take you to a nice restaurant on our day off?….I will get to that faucet tonight.” Just some damn acknowledgement? Anything but the way he handled it.
And he leaves. He packed up and left…again. L..M..F…A…O! And…left the house trashed. And it smells. But hey…I guess it wasn’t enough for you to walk out on me the weekend of our first anniversary so I didn’t have one nor did you ever make up for it you prick! Not to mention not getting a damn thing from you on mothers day (from YOUR three kids I take care of!) I wasn’t worth a damn thing and your mom just thought I was worth a 2 for 1 hersheys candy bar! Fuck you and fuck them! You all definitely deserve each other and feed off of each others idiocies!
Yanno thinking back when I have told him before about being overwhelmed…it didn’t matter…he brushed it off as…”that’s just life.” Oh yea..well how about you go back to your mommys for another breast feeding? I’m sick and tired of being married to a tit baby child. Seriously? Sick of it. I’m sick and tired of being screamed at and called names for absolutely no reason! I mean c’mon!
How can he not see himself? How can anyone be that ignorant? Well how about you go find yourself someone that suits you better? Go back to your egghead shaped ex girlfriend Krisssss….Ms. Princess who doesn’t like tall grass and god forbid she gets that stiff hair wet…no wonder you had that gay looking umbrella in your trunk. I bet it was moreso the witch didn’t melt. >;) Oh I could write about that one but perhaps hind site is 20/20 and she’s perfect for you. Uh,…come to think of it you always walked out on her too didn’t you? You broke up with her how many times in four years?
Jekyll you’re a big fucking tit baby. You are a spoiled arrogant ignorant asshole who doesn’t deserve me. You go right ahead and find someone else or go back to your cross eyed retarded princess.
Just want to reiterate one more time…it wasn’t so much that I have been your slave…not even that you don’t help…not even because you haven’t fixed the faucet in months…it’s because I cannot express my dislike of ANYTHING that concerns YOU without YOU FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!
Time you found out just how good you had it.
You go ahead and pack you stupid fuck…I may be at the house…but I’m leaving YOU!
You must be logged in to post a comment.